I was going to write something deep

But I'm not in the mood. Instead, here is your latest member of Red Sox nation. He prefers to watch the games stuffed in the couch I guess.

The existentialist in me

...is back. It comes and goes. I feel like it's not fair that not everyone has to spend this much time wondering whey they're on earth and what it is they're supposed to do while they're here. Why is this my burden?

I do have to say, for the record, that one of the worst things you can say to someone, about anything, a job, a living situation, a relationship, an accomplishment, a failure...is 'you can do so much better' or better yet 'you deserve better'.

For the sake of argument, I can understand that perhaps due to the effort a person has put into said accomplishment, job search, relationship or perhaps to life in general that the person making such a comment could feel it speaks to the good characteristics and worth they see in that person. But really what saying this does is create a defense and a hurt. A hurt is not understandable because said person probably thinks that he has tried the best he can with what he knows and with what he has and that clearly, by saying this to him, you are telling him that what he has done, isn't enough; That he is now letting you down even though he is trying to live his life the best way he knows how.

Maybe I'm over-dramatizing.

The 'you can do so much better' is no less hurtful. This creates a similar defense and says, you are not enough, you're not doing enough, and you make poor choices. In my experience, people who say these things know only superficially about what they are judging. They may know the person well, but do not know the person's situation as well. If they did, I don't think they'd be so quick to use such a tired and thoughtless line.

I understand that these things are said out of love, but I don't think they're respectful, thoughtful, or creative (therefore, not really falling into the 'love' category). I think if you are trying to help a person and/or make them feel better that there are more respectful, thoughtful, and creative ways to do it. These ways take more effort and more time to thoughtfully construct. My experience is that they are more effective, more thought-provoking when received, and don't create the same defense.

I ask you all to think these things through when you feel strongly and would like to make a point with someone.

Sunny Weekend

I feel like the weekend has not necessarily been a recharging one. This is ironic because there was no tutoring, there was no rushing around, there was good food prepared at home, there was sun...what's wrong?

No idea, but on my way to the parade for a few hours via the shower. Maybe that will help.

I spent some time practicing my cupcake and frosting recipes. Some definitely just went straight from bowl to garbage. But here are the ones that made it. Don't you wish you were visiting today?

We went to Harpoon to get some fresh beer for today and on the way home had to stop short. One of the growlers fell on top of another one and before you know it, the floor of the back seat was a pool of UFO. As we were cleaning it up at home, Savory Man thought today would be a good day to get Milo outside to enjoy the weather. I had to agree it was a good day and I always wonder if I have forced him to be an inside cat when he may have been an outside cat in his other life. So we went down to the pet store and bought him a leash. But we're missing the bride that connects the spilled beer to the walk in the park.

So for some reason it didn't occur to us that due to spilled beer we might want to keep Milo in the cage in the car. So instead we let him out and didn't he hunker down under the driver's seat on the sopping wet carpet. So by the time we got to the pet store, we had a cat who was soaking wet who reeked of beer. OF COURSE an employee of the pet store was like, 'Oooh ! You bought a cat down to visit!' and had to go right up to the carrier and got a good whiff of our beer soaked cat. Alas, we are bad parents. If I was going to get judged for something, it of course is going to be for my cat who bathes in beer.

Anyways, we got poor, wet, Milo to the park and put his leash on. He was amazingly forgiving about the whole harness and leash but was really scared to be in the big outdoors. I mean, I know it doesn't help that the park is right off the highway and it was windy out. Somehow we didn't put all these pieces together when we thought he just might enjoy getting outside. Perhaps we should have just done this in our yard in our quiet-ish neighborhood.

It was an interesting day and this is how it ended. Another beeuteeful sunset.

Increasingly Angry

I'm getting increasingly pissed off these days. I am really, really incensed about the economy. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm a big fan of justice and equity, but not at the expense of working for what you deserve and getting what you deserve for the work you put in. This idea is difficult to grapple with in the Social Work field when there are so many people simply don't have a springboard to be able to get to a place where they can spring off, if you will.

But I digress. This morning I saw that GM might have to declare bankruptcy and shut down. Does this mean that they will have to give back the 3049302 bazillion dollars that the taxpayers are giving them? Or are they going to use that money to pay off their expenses and then declare bankruptcy? I have a pretty good idea of what it means and it pisses me off.

It pisses me off the my parents worked their entire lives, were strategic about their investments, saved money, lived frugally, only to have their disposable fun money that they were looking foward to in their retirement simply disappear. That is not fair. It is not right. It's just not right that we are paying for poor management at banks and car companies. That is not MY fault! There would be some kind of concession in my mind if we were helping people who didn't have access to resources and education but we're bailing out people with MBAs and plenty of resources. I hate it. I am so pissed off.

I'm pissed off that Savory Man goes to look for a job through a contact he has and he goes to the Human Resources department at one of the local hospitals and can't sit down because there are so many other people there too. All of the clipboards with applications are being used. So he, as unemployed, is fighting for fewer jobs that more people are competing for. It's simply not fair and it's not his fault.

In better news that doesn't piss me off, Savory Man is in a culinary program at Community Servings, one of my favorite local non-profits. I guess the class is made up of a lot of folks who have less than savory backgrounds, shall we say. A lot of them are people who would have a hard time landing a job since they are on parole or probation, are often young and under-educated...Well a lot of them have attendance issues and performance issues. Savory Man does not and is excelling in the program. He has always like to cook (and create in the kitchen, I'm a lucky girl!) but he is now learning the science behind cooking and the skills he will need in a job in the culinary industry. It doesn't hurt at all that his 'competition' is a generally unsavory bunch. Four weeks in and eight weeks to go.

Thankfully the luxury tutoring market isn't suffering. In fact, I can still have more than enough students to drive myself crazy with and to give me plenty to complain about. I enjoy doing it, and it pays well so I should really shut my trap. I would really like to have a little time to myself though.

Milo has been unaffected by the economy. Just in case you were wondering.

Give Me Five, You Are a Dog

That's what Savory Man keeps trying to tell Milo. It's ain't working. Last night Milo looked at me with eyes that said, 'seriously'? I just laughed.
Milo has found new ways to be funny. I'm not surprised he's funny, it runs in the household. Psycho, funny, energetic and lazy all in one...he fits right in. The other night on was on my back lifting weights and everytime I lifted them up, Milo went up with them. I think he thought I was taking his toy away - all twelve pounds of it, one rep at a time. As you can imagine, this led to a very productive weight lifting session. So I put him on the coffee table and told him to stop, so he watched for a while. Then he jumped on my chest. The he attacked my foot like it was a run away train and it was his job to corral it.
My mother is right, it is so nice just to have another living being in the house, if not for entertainment then simply because he, I don't know, I can't explain it. He's just a fuzzy, lovable ball of grey fur.
Savory Man has a daily goal of finding new ways to make Milo jumped hire, slide farther, and be a little more psycho than the day before. We have finally agreed that drinking out of the toilet is fine since the water dish seems to be no man's land, and that the balls are always just going to end up under the bed no matter what we do. I'm pretty sure that the cat is not psyched about me flashing the camera in his eyes but he's so funny sometimes, I just can't resist taking his picture.